I remember forcing myself to keep an appointment with my hairdresser just a few weeks after discovering Music man’s secret life. It was all I could do to even take a shower at that point, but somehow I managed to get out the door and into Robert’s hair salon. I desperately needed someone to work magic on me and that day it would be Robert. I was very quiet, which Robert knew was unusual. So he prodded a bit and I burst into tears. Without telling him any details, we talked about how I discovered Music Man has been unfaithful. I will never forget Robert’s words. He stopped clipping my hair, put down his shears, looked me square in the eye and said “Sweetie all men and I do mean ALL men are pigs. I can’t even count how many married men I have slept with.” You know the old saying “too much information?” well…that was way more than I ever wanted to hear. Now, on top of the avalanche of my own discovery, I get a testimony from my very gay friend, that he has slept with many married men! If there were such a thing as a head (pardon the pun) exploding, it would have happened to me at that moment. UGH I didn’t want to hear that all men are dogs and I didn’t want to think that many married men swing with both sexes unbeknowest to their families.
I want to keep thinking and truly believing that my father was a faithful husband, that my brother is a faithful husband, shit….even that my favorite high school teacher wasn’t some cheating pig. But here I go again with the realization that I will never be the person I was. But what I know for sure, is that there remains an untouchable area in my heart and soul that is protected. An area that will continue to shine and cherish the good I see in life. It is reserved only for me. No one can ever take from me that my father was amazing. He was home every night eating dinner with us, playing board games. He was calling my mom every day at lunch to check in and just chat. He set this amazing example of what a husband and father should be like. It’s untouchable and entrenched in my heart and soul for all of eternity. FUCK anyone who wants to try and take that away. FUCK Music Man for making me such a fool and fuck me for not being smart enough to see through Music Man’s bullshit. My father was perfect and I miss him dearly. Thank you dad for giving me the gift of a great father and thank you for being classy to my mom. All men are pigs. No, I can’t buy into that because I have too many men around me who influenced my life, who were not pigs. I don’t care what went on outside of my world. For me, there are many men who are not like that. I believe and I always will believe that and for now, my children believe the same.
My youngest was telling me the other day how upset she was with a friend of hers who keeps cheating on her boyfriend. She asked me why some girls do that. I didn’t give her an answer. I only said “whatever you do, please break up with someone before you cheat.” She said ” Oh for sure, I will never cheat on anyone.” sigh… it hurt my heart, but I believe my daughter deserves to see her dad through her own eyes and she sees a faithful husband. I hope that last a lifetime for her.